Grace

Now that I have a job, you would think that things are swell...not yet. I have been a nervous wreck since graduation. First, I had to pass boards. Then search for a job. I finally have the job and am now nervous about starting. I feel like I do not know enough information. I mean , I know that I am a new grad and the company understands that, but I am not allowing myself to understand that.
I am my biggest critic.
I have been through a lot of changes over the past 2 years. I have gained a lot of weight and have really let myself go. I am at the highest weight that I have ever been. I hate to look in the mirror and see what I have become. I hate to try on clothes or even get dressed in the morning. If I could, I would go around in sweat pants all the time. I am not happy with myself.
I think that if I were looking in on someone else's life I would be more compassionate toward them. I'm not compassionate toward myself.
I need to allow myself some grace.